And yet when the lights go out… The tough act falls. I’m tired.
Month: May 2013
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I hate holidays.
I have a dire need to type in here but I don’t trust myself to just yet. So I’ll only make mark of something I’m grateful for:
Last night Yancy looked up a random anime movie on Netflix that neither of us has ever heard of and watched it with me. For ONCE there was no speeches, no judgement, no I-told-you-so or I-know-better advice,
just companionship and a way out of my head.
And I really, really needed that.
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High and Low
I am sitting in the living room with freshly washed hair — which I have blow dried but it is still a bit frizzy, but wavy too — wearing comfy pajama bottoms, a blue wife-beater tank top, and my heart necklace.
I feel extremely attractive right now. (Not sarcasm, I actually feel this way).
I took Tiny to the vet today… And found out that she’s diabetic.
My Tiny-baby is diabetic… She’ll need shots the rest of her life, strict diets, none of her favorite treats, and (I imagine) more frequent doctor visits than just once a year…
They’re keeping her overnight to flush her system and figure out her dosage… I’m picking her up tomorrow… And most likely learning how to give her her insulin shots tomorrow too. God, I hope she doesn’t grow to hate me for them. :(
Diabetic…
My Tiny…
And I’m crying again…
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“Day” 22 Posted.
It’s 3:36 AM, I haven’t slept a wink, I’m still in my jeans, and I have to get up early to take Tiny to the vet. Actually I probably have to wake up once before that just to take her out to pee.
But I finally wrote something. It’s not perfect, as much as I tried fixing it these past four-ish days I can’t get it there, but I think I got close enough considering the colossal writer’s block I’ve been buried under.
Anyway. It’s another challenge/prompt from the “30 Day Writing Challenge.” It’s Day 22, and the third one I’ve written.
Read it on my BlogSpot here: “Inhale.”
Please leave your thoughts, or if you have trouble with the site, you can leave a comment here too. I allow anonymous commenting in both locations.
Thanks.
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Artax
Finally started writing something, but the words are starting to choke again. I just can’t seem to get the phrasing right or get from A to B…
I feel like I just can’t get out of this mud. Like it’s just gripping to me and pulling me in like Atreyu’s horse in The Neverending Story.
It doesn’t help that it may be starting, if not already happening. I knew it was only a matter of time but… Damn, I was hoping I’d be more… or more to the point less…
It doesn’t matter. Never did/does. I should be used to that by now.
I have to get this story out… Although it’s no surprise on why it’s hard to write, even if I wasn’t fighting writer’s block.
I miss the water. I really really do. I have no idea if I still fit into my suit (have I really only worn it twice? Jeez) but I need the sensation of the waves on my skin. The weightlessness and relief it gives, like I could just float away from everything and it would be okay…
Corky once told me that whenever she’s incredibly upset, she feels a pain between her shoulder blades and a strong desire to get away. “Maybe I had wings in a past life…” I remember thinking that was so beautiful, and if there are such things as past lives, maybe I was a mermaid or something of the sea and that’s why I feel such a need to be near water whenever I’m upset…
It’s a comforting and distracting thought.
God, I feel nauseous. At least my hands have stopped shaking.
I can get through this. I think.
I have to. This is how it is.
God I miss the water.
