February 18, 2013
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ProgresS.
Last night was the second night in a row that I woke up crying. I don't remember the dreams I was having in either night -- well, I remember a scene in one of the ones last night but that's about it -- but I know each night had more than one.
I keep waking up with an all-to-familiar pain in my chest.
But this past Saturday, the 16th, I was finally ready to change my facebook profile image to one of myself. I haven't been able to have anything other than Kagome's solemn face since the breakup... I was finally ready to see myself again. See myself smiling. And I chose an image from a cherished memory. I knew I wanted a picture of myself, and I knew it had to be tied to a happy memory.
I visited a lot of memories that day (or twilight, since it was ~2 AM Saturday morning), but my facebook pictures didn't give me many to choose from (meaning there aren't a lot with me in them) that didn't somehow remind me of something sad.
But that day at Universal, that picture of the moment when I finally met her in person... It made me smile for the first time that day. Soon after (more like nearly two hours after) I found a cover image that could do the same.
The rest of the Saturday went much better. I finally got my new glasses and they left me ecstatic on how great they look and how great I feel I look wearing them.
But even with the whole glasses fiasco, nothing made me happier than to have finally been able to change the image and be met with such happy memories and colors the second I open the page (or application).
So I'm still crying in my sleep...
but at least I'm finally smiling more in the sunlight...
