February 4, 2013
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Super Bowl XLVII
One down, two to go. I'm not sure if anyone put it together in that entry a while back, but this was the first of three events I said I was dreading [as in dreading at the time I wrote the entry]. Thank God it wasn't the misery I thought it was going to be back then. Although it was definitely hard...
Justin invited me over to his place to watch the game with him and his dad (I assumed other guests would be present, at the very least his dad's girlfriend but didn't know for sure at the time). I really wanted to see the game and I knew I sure as hell wasn't going to be able to at home and didn't think Jerrick had gotten into football enough to be willing to sit through the game (the whole game, and with no interruptions/distractions), and even if either of those were possible I knew it'd be better to have someone who could clear up anything I might miss/not know (such as the chance to earn 2 points after a touchdown [I was only aware of the 1 pointer]) -- not to mention the bonus of being able to see him in general.
But the smart part of me was terrified about my accepting the invite because she knew it meant facing a lot of memories going into that house...
It was hard...
I didn't know what to do with myself at first and I kept seeing flashes of all the other times I had been there. I got through it somehow, though.. His dad was really nice. Welcomed me in his usual friendly way and all, but what really helped was the way he kept me included the whole night. It was sweet, at one point he said he was glad I could make it and that he missed having me over.
I met the woman he's seeing and her son (who, thank the lord, behaved himself), which spared me the panic of where to sit. And I got to see Uncle Bob again (I've always liked him and ever since I ran into him that one time in McDonald's I've felt comfortable around him [as in lacking the normal level of awkwardness you'd feel with other people's relatives] -- which had everything to do with the fact that he opened up that day and talked to me as an equal). Actually, when Uncle Bob walked in he seemed really surprised to see me there. It kinda looked like he was trying to figure out what I was doing there (as in, did it mean anything or if it didn't then why was I there, etc). Honestly, I wouldn't have known what to tell him.
Anyway, the food was delicious and the cookies I made came out fantastic (thank goodness, that would've been awkward lol) -- it felt great to see everyone going crazy for them. :) Yay compliments and confidence boost!
As I said before, Justin's dad kept me included. We all decided what team we were rooting for beforehand -- I chose the Ravens (coincidently same as Justin's [I spoke first]) and he (Justin's Dad) chose the 49ers along with Uncle Bob -- and so whenever the 49ers FINALLY stopped sucking he would yell out things to keep the "rivalry" going. :P He also yelled out stuff like "Get out. Leave the cookies." whenever I cheered for the Ravens. xD It all really helped keep the memories at bay and keep me into the game, so I had a lot of fun. :)
Justin was really nice the whole time too... He'd always offer/check to see if I wanted anything whenever he was reaching or getting up for something, and even shared some of his chicken with me (he didn't think he'd finish it). [[Which reminds me, I ate a LOT. I had forgotten to eat anything else after breakfast *which was at 10* so I was starving]]. All the stuff of hosting, I know (well except maybe the chicken-sharing, but I was sitting right there) but it was still nice and appreciated.
I had a really good time, which is such a relief because at the time of that other post I was convinced today would be the first event of a two-weeks-long nightmare. I still have the two other events to go but if today went well maybe the second will go well too... (Although I have no hope whatsoever for the third).
This ache and pain hasn't lessened at all... Nearly two years now and...
At least I was able to enjoy today. It was fun, the game was exciting, and the halftime show was great (tons better than that crappy Madonna [or whoever] performance of last year).
If only I could look forward to event 2... I'm still dreading it (which is really sad considering what it is).
On a side note: I get my new glasses soon (I think the lady said Tuesday). I had saved up for my eye exam and frames and when I lost my job Mom said it was best to still do it (since I really needed it [5+ yrs w/o an eye exam]) before things got worse. [And since I've always been frugal and kept a safety net, I still could]. I wanted a bolder color and style (but not excessive) for my new frames and I found two I really liked and think look good on me. Hopefully I'm not wrong. :P I was really hoping to have them by today but didn't work out.
There is a possible lead to a job at Dad's station. I'm really excited about it and hope it works out. I've always aimed for jobs where I have to work with people, but maybe I'm more of an office type? I don't know. I just know I am so damn tired of dealing with people. I don't know if it's worse here in FL or if it's this bad everywhere, but God I've just had enough with the a-holes. So, yeah, I'll give paperwork a shot.
While I'm chasing this lead, I'll apply for unemployment in the meantime. I pick up my final check this week, after which I can apply since I'll be legally off a payroll.
Things will be a little scary and tight for a while since the cable and phone bills are due soon, but hopefully I'll get something decent back in taxes and will hopefully have unemployment to keep my head above the water. (Please, God, let me be approved).
All things considered, today was a great day. I'm a little sad and lonely now, but I'm relieved I had fun.
So many thoughts are rushing through my head now...
Goodbyes are always hard.
