Hey, Xanga... Wow, I actually don't know how to start this. It's about as awkward as several clichés that I'll choose not to mention.
As always there's no real/justifiable reason for my absence here, but it hardly makes a difference. The holidays were a dud, again, but here's hoping for a better year. Is it weird that I'm dreading February? I really am. Three events within the same two weeks that I would rather skip completely. The entire month is going to suck...
I'm getting back into Zumba. It worked really well for me before (when I first bought the game). The only reason I stopped was because I was walking 8+ miles at Universal nearly every day and it was becoming too much for my legs to bear. Now that my job doesn't involve moving platforms or 2-5 staircases, I should be able to get back into the game and keep it. I've only done two sessions (Thursday and now today) but I can already feel my old level of endurance creeping back. I used to be able to burn 600 calories per session and at the moment I'm already doing half that, so that's a good sign I guess. Muscle memory is helping me with the songs too...
I've long-stopped doing this, but I made resolutions this year. I figured I'll have a better chance of actually doing them if I don't share them until completed. Here's hoping that works.
*Sigh* I hate saying/feeling "here's hoping" so often. It seems to be the only thing I can do lately.
Our house is in foreclosure. Evidently the owner we rent from wasn't kidding when he said money was getting tight. And clearly the plan to sell the house didn't work. They say things like this takes months to go through but realistically we know that any day they could show up and say "You've got two weeks. Get out." One of my relatives is out of town so they said, worse-case-scenario, we can crash at their place if we're kicked out before finding a new one.
Yancy's moving to Buffalo to live closer to the other Adrians and make things easier to work on their book. He originally tossed the idea of me going with him. I turned him down. I miss snow but that doesn't mean I miss Buffalo (although to be fair I'm judging it by the only part of it I've lived in, the poor side), not to mention that all my friends (dwindling and strained as they are) are here and I don't know anyone up there. (No offense, but cousins don't count since I haven't seen any of them for longer than 2 days in over a decade. That equals strangers). One of his arguments (there were only a couple) for my joining him would be that I wouldn't be alone. I'd have him and the other Adrians.
No offense to them, but I've grown so damn tired of being the little sister in the group and frankly with their ages, personalities, and sizes (they're all frikkin trees), that's all I'll ever be. (I say this not because of romantic interest but instead referring to a sense of belonging and equal status).
((Not to mention I really don't want to live with Yancy if I can avoid it. Love him and all but I deal with him better when I'm not a room/hall mate.))
But I am saving up for something else... We'll see if that goes anywhere.
Tiny's doing better. She's not getting sick as often as she was.
I'm keeping track of my accumulated vacation hours. A hopeful version of me wanted to save it for my birthday or some other time when I can take a week (or half week) and go someplace, but I know nothing's going to happen so instead the idea so far is to save it up for MegaCon weekend and get paid while I browse a convention hall full of nerdy things. (I know I only go to the Saturday one, but you know what I mean).
I miss feeling wanted.
I go back and forth between considering cutting my hair or just trimming it. It largely depends on my mood. "Normal" me really likes my long hair, but the "bad days" version of me wants to just chop it off.
There's a girl at work who is just flawless-doesn't-even-have-to-try-like-at-ALL gorgeous and it bums me out.
I bought two new pairs of jeans, some black "interview" pants, and a blouse I actually really like and plan on wearing to Jaunae's birthday. I'm still waiting on the bill from KOHLS to pay it off. (They signed me up for a free KOHLS card that gives you discounts on almost everything in the store when used, but the card itself is kind of like a credit card so I have to wait for them to mail me my card and info so I know where/how to pay). I still need more clothes but damn everything is expensive nowadays. Actually they always have been but I'm in desperate need of an actual adult wardrobe that it's just more noticeable now.
I'd actually like to get some skirts and dresses.
I'm hoping they'd make me feel better.
There's that word again.
Today wasn't a bad day I'm just having a rough weekend and it's just all coming out here.
Dearest Xanga. You rarely get good news it seems (comparatively).
I really need new glasses. That'll have to be next on the list now that the two new jeans keep the "what if my one pair rips?" danger away. This week would've been the perfect time to do it but now I gotta keep my eye out for that KOHLS bill so I can't assume I have any money.
I miss the water.
I just want to go. Leave. But not with Yancy and I don't know where. I look on my friends' facebook pages and I just see photos after photos of beaches, forts, cruises, campings, and other such outings and they all seem to take place within days of each other (according to the statuses, not the post times) yet they somehow still work 40-60 hour weeks? How??
And it all just makes me feel like crap because I work part-time but have no fun times to experience or post about.
I hate working the liquor store at work. It's only for 20-35 minutes at a time (to give the main liquor store person their breaks) but I truly hate it. Selling hard liquor in bulk and to people who think nothing of dropping hundreds, and in some cases even THOUSANDS, of dollars on booze (but then still bitch inside about how expensive the apples are). I've told higher-ups before (more than once) about my being uncomfortable working there but they don't seem to care since they have yet to "train" anyone else to do it for me. (I use the quotes because they never trained me for anything. They just threw me in there to fend for myself). I really hate that place. My skin crawls every time I have to hand someone cigarettes or damn liters of booze.
My mind is all over the place tonight. I think I'm just tired. I should probably try to sleep.
I miss my friends.
