$18.40 to be exact. And I regret nothing. So here's how it happened: You see, when I wake up, or rather, when I'm ready to GET up, I reach for my phone first and check the notifications, opening only the important ones (texts, voicemails, etc). Well, finally having a full-on lazy day (will get to that later) today, I decided to check the tweets. There was one from Strapya World (where I bought my cute Hello Kitty earphones [the ONLY Hello Kitty merch I've ever liked]) and I clicked it...
It was to a kit to make your own pearl necklace!! :DD And it's flipping GORGEOUS!! I fell in love with it and did my customary "Should I?/Shouldn't I?" battle with myself (only this time it only lasted a record 5 seconds) and decided to get it for myself. Because, dammit, after the year I've had I deserve something nice.
So I treated myself to it. :) Early Christmas gift I guess, lol. But I don't regret it. I'm SO excited and can't wait to get it in the mail. And, thanks to the sale they're currently having, it all cost me under $20 AFTER shipping! SCORE!!
I DO have to watch my spending, though, so I'll be more frugal ["MORE frugal, Jany? Because you've been SO out of control up until now. xD"] from here on out. Starting with depositing those two paychecks I still haven't banked.
I DO feel a little selfish for treating myself before having done ANY shopping or even gift-idea-forming for anyone else. I am so bad with finding gifts. :( Especially for guys. I just, I can't think of anything. -_- I don't know what it is. Other than the necklace and plate, ALL of my gifts to Jaunae have just been monkey-related items (mostly stuffed animals). For Derrick, pfft, I think I've only ever given him one tangible gift (the other being Universal tickets that one time) and that was when we did the Disney-themed Christmas (everyone bought Disney DVDs). With Justin I was God-awful at it. Over the course of our friendship-turned-romance I had gotten him a polar bear poster (I told you I'm terrible), home-made valentines card (which, at the time making it I was really excited about, but at the moment of truth I felt so lame, like a kid drawing something in macaroni for his mom or something), a few manga volumes and DVD seasons, food, and I can't even remember what else at the moment. Probably more of the same.
The mangas and DVDs aren't that bad actually, I know, especially since some of those DVDs were of a show he loved, but I can't pull a Papi all my life. **By that I mean that I can't give the same gift over and over like Dad does (he always buys Mom purses or a watch. That's it. Dear lord the amount of purses...)
It was easy to shop for Yancy for a while back when I worked at Virgin because then I'd just get him the newest and fanciest thing in our comic book section. But now I'm back to DVDs with him (and he always has to give us a list, otherwise I'm lost).
With Dafne and Kathy, I can't even remember most of them, but I know there were a lot of DVDs involved there too.
-_- I suck.
I really, really wish I were better at this kind of thing...
I showed Mom the necklace I bought for myself. She liked it and said it'd make a good gift. I felt a little jealous because I wasn't hoping for a "twinsies" situation, but I told Dad anyway so that he can aim for something OTHER THAN A PURSE for her for once. He was excited about it until he found out he'd have to make an account with the site to order it (it's just an email and address, damn). Suddenly it was "too complicated" for him and he said he'd pass. Now I don't know what to do because I don't know if I should get one for mom or not. As I said before, I didn't want to since I wanted this for myself and even though I won't love my necklace any less, I don't want Ma to try to "match" with me all the time. Plus, I'm scared if I make an IDENTICAL order on my own account that they might fear it to be a glitch and cancel one of them or that it might cause problems in shipping, etc. This worry dabbles in paranoia but I don't think it's completely unfounded. I mean, it makes sense right? It'd be an identical order to one that hasn't even been prepared and shipped yet.
Plus if I was going to end up paying for two I would've preferred doing it all at once so that I don't have to pay shipping again (sale or not, pointless/avoidable spending is a tick with me).
Maybe I'm just flat out selfish and am making excuses. I feel gross for saying it, but I really don't want to buy another one for a gift.
*sigh* So I'm just selfish. Fantastic.
I'll give it a couple days and see how things go.
I started this post happy and excited and now I'm feeling bad about myself. How the hell did that happen? I wanted to treat myself to something nice and special, dammit!! I shouldn't have to suffer guilt-trips just because I don't want to go twinsies. Besides, she gets to see Puerto Rico over Thanksgiving. I don't get no island paradise for the holiday. Hell, I might not even get a turkey.
You know what, screw feeling guilty. I wanted something unique, special, and beautiful for myself for once and I'm going to enjoy it. I deserve that much.
...
...
...
So... Come back, Happiness and Excitement.
...
...
Please...
I'm going to use the "happy" photo anyway because the excitement WILL come back. Besides, before watches, Dad got Mom a LOT of necklaces and that got old, too.
I deserve something nice just for me...
I deserve that much after a year of loneliness and dead holidays.
Yes, I deserve that much.
